Office Jockey's I need to vent

"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland) 06/12/2019 at 12:14 • Filed to: office etiquette

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My co-worker got her hair cut yesterday then proceeded to shed all over the bathroom, sink, flo or, toilet etc... all covered in pieces of her brown millennial hair. I HAD TO WIPE DOWN THE DAMN SINK TO WASH MY HANDS!!!!

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 12:25

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Take a pic and forward to HR? Unless it’s a small company or your coworker has friends in high places... 

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 06/12/2019 at 12:27

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Naw, I’m just bitching. Shes a good friend and will feel bad when I complain to her about this. 

OPPOsaurus WRX > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 12:29

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my boss hasn’ t given a shit what i’m doing all day until i sit down to eat. He has spent the day bitching about how he can;t rely on the mother of 2 children working at home part time to do things exac tly when he wants them done. Well shit, sounds like you should have hired an actual employee instea d of someone part time who has other things to worry about. well I hope he doesn’ t go down that road again. o wait, he just fucking hired a second person to work at home part time. WTF.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 12:29

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TBH based on your explanation I kind of want to start a “annoying habits of really good friends” thread. But I’m going to be a bit busy today. 

Danimalk - Drives a Slow Car Fast > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 12:29

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“ It certainly does suck.”

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 06/12/2019 at 12:31

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This is a m ore appropriate take. I’m just trying to be edgy. 

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 12:32

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She has almost certainly also been shedding on her own clothing. Get a lint/cat hair roller and start rolling her with it.

There is no possible way this will fail to get the point across and be construed as extremely weird sexual harassment.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Danimalk - Drives a Slow Car Fast 06/12/2019 at 12:32

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This movie was great and I just rewatched it this spring. 

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 06/12/2019 at 12:33

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Filed to: Great ways to get fired by RamblinRover.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 12:34

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Am I the only one who finds the GIF creepy yet weirdly arousing?

For Sweden > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 12:36

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This is why you don’t hire millennials

user314 > Snuze: Needs another Swede 06/12/2019 at 12:37

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Well, his expression is really creepy, if nothing else.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 12:37

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Pfft - try again. You’re worried about a little hair? Hair from someone’s head?  At my last job we had a chronic masturbator whose mother was the head of HR - good luck getting rid of him. When we knew Tuggy  was in there we usually went to the hotel on the other side of the complex, a huge waste of company time, just so we didn’t have to listen to the rhythmic slapping noises and panting.   And at a fancy talent agency I worked at in Beverly Hills, people would pick their nose at the urinals and stick it to the wall, and the janitors wouldn’t clean it up until multiple complaints were made via the suggestion box.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Snuze: Needs another Swede 06/12/2019 at 12:38

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Yes.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 06/12/2019 at 12:39

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I’ll file that to, I guess my life ain’t so bad after all. 

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 06/12/2019 at 12:43

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The booger thing, I see this everywhere, what the hell people. 

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 12:46

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If you want to go the extra mile, it would involve one of those cat grooming tongue things.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 06/12/2019 at 12:47

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If it’s not to severe I can get away with it at least once. That’s what my training told me anyway. 

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 12:48

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Sorry to one-up you like that. I didn’t mean to minimize your complaint since I too like to come here to vent sometimes. Those loose hairs are terrible and don’t belong anywhere other than the barber shop. I’m surprised that they haven’t come up with a better solution.

I do have a Flowbee and it works great, especially when it comes to cleanup. But doing the area around the neck is a pain and never quite looks right (because it doesn't really work in that area - you need clippers for that)  unless you have someone else trim it for you, which is kind of a challenge when you live alone.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 06/12/2019 at 12:50

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No problem, I enjoyed your tale of faps. 

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 12:51

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I guess that one alternative is the “pick it and flick it” method . Out of sight, out of mind, but that means finding them in odd locations...

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > OPPOsaurus WRX 06/12/2019 at 12:57

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This is the new america, full of part time hourly employees, some are good and some are not.

benjrblant > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 06/12/2019 at 12:58

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stick it to the wall? but... but there’s a roll of TP RIGHT F’IN THERE

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > For Sweden 06/12/2019 at 13:01

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smobgirl > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 13:01

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That makes me itchy just thinking about it. She’s probably suffering too.

The worst is when the little hair pieces get stuck in your bra and stab you but you can’t do anything about it because it looks inappropriate.

For Sweden > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 06/12/2019 at 13:05

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You’re missing the greater threat of Generation X

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > benjrblant 06/12/2019 at 13:05

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That would mean an extra step to the stall. Think of it as a time-saving measure - you’re handling (no pun intended) two problems in one space. Efficiency experts would congratulate someone for having the foresight to use the wall. Just think of the millions of hours businesses save  every year by employing this technique. And even more time is saved by not washing your hands...

merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 13:07

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Yeah, I don’t think they meant the training to be a checklist...  I was sitting through mine and thinking...  yup, yup, yup....  oh, I’m not supposed to do that.... oops.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 13:12

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i think she is ok at what she is doing. The problem is that he expects her to be available from 9-5 and that i s not realistic for the arrangement they have. If you want availability from 9-5, hire someone to come sit in a seat from 9-5

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 13:18

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Edgys  gonna edge, that’s fine, you do you boo 

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > smobgirl 06/12/2019 at 13:19

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I always plan on a shower after a hair cut, I can’t stand those little hairs in my ears and down my neck. 

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > smobgirl 06/12/2019 at 13:27

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Wait, does something different happen during women’s hair cuts? I’m not sure I’ve ever had the problem of hairs left on me after a cut.  Which reminds me, I should probably call and schedule a hair cut for this weekend.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > OPPOsaurus WRX 06/12/2019 at 13:36

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Isnt the entire point of working remote to not have a set schedule? That you really are on the clock from when you wake up to when you go to bed, but you have the freedom to go run errands and crap when needed, so long as you attend the necessary meetings and meet deadlines. 

smobgirl > ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com 06/12/2019 at 13:39

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It might have to do with all the weird shaping they do? Like they cut my hair wet to get the length off, but then they dry it and hold chunks out at all sorts of  angles to cut layers and stuff. Plus when she trims stray bangs (dry, and sometimes after she’s taken the wrap off of me) they fall right down the front of my shirt. I dunno.

smobgirl > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 13:40

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Yes!!  But if I’ve colored it I usually need to wait to wash it. :(

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > smobgirl 06/12/2019 at 13:43

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I guess that makes sense.  My hair is never more than a few inches long even before a cut, so I imagine there isn’t much in the way of layering or stuff like that going on.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) 06/12/2019 at 13:53

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I’m sure each company/situation has its own arrangement . MY cousin works for a company that allows him to work from home twice a week. he is expected to be at his computer at home just as if he was in the office. This woman has children to look after in addition to her own work for her own projects.  She was upfront about this when she took the project from my boss.  The work was mostly expected to be done after the kids went bed or while they were in school.  he is taking the cheap way out and is now paying the price for that.

ST80MND > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 13:54

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Ha ha, the Flowbee! Its sucking my will to live!

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > OPPOsaurus WRX 06/12/2019 at 14:00

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And removing potentially a couple of wasted hours for commuting, that can certainly be much more efficient use of time. Makes sense that it would vary wherever it is used. Seems this is a case of poor planning though or unrealistic expectations. 

OPPOsaurus WRX > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) 06/12/2019 at 14:02

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i’d say its both poor planning and unrealistic expectations on my boss’s part. the other person he just gave a project to has a day job. What happens when my boss NEEDS something at 2 in the afte rnoon?

Tripper > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 06/12/2019 at 14:26

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The motherfucking wall boogs!!! Why do people do that?! 

ranwhenparked > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 06/12/2019 at 14:56

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Geez, I've never encountered anything that bad in a professional environment. We had a chronic masturbator at the grocery store I worked at in high school, though. And he was pretty violent with himself, let's just say you could hear everything quite clearly from the break room down the hall. He was hired under some special program, too, so he wasn't all there in the head. Communicated mainly with grunts and mumbled 1 or 2 word answers and ate frozen pizzas without cooking them. 

ranwhenparked > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 14:57

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Time to circulate a passive aggressive memo that doesn't name anyone specifically, but is phrased in a manner so that everyone knows who you mean. 

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com 06/12/2019 at 15:09

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I don’t think they do anyth ing different but women get charged 3x as much.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > ranwhenparked 06/12/2019 at 15:15

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Tuggy is probably what would be considered high-functioning Aspergers. He had been tossed out of one high school for a problem he didn’t elaborate on, but given his behavior I can guess.  He seemed to know everything there was to know about steam trains but was unable to converse on the subject if it ventured outside of known facts and figures; I once asked something about what these trains would have been like if the gauge was several feet wider, but he couldn’t handle that and got frustrated, saying that this never happened and that standard gauge was just fine and didn’t need changing. Another co-worker seemed t o be upset when he found out that Tuggy was actually a college graduate, although in a subject that has absolutely nothing to do with the line of work we were in - think Buster Bluth from Arrested Development, but with less money and serious hygiene issues...

ranwhenparked > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 06/12/2019 at 15:42

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Ok, this is sounding familiar. When Arrested Development first came out, my younger brother, who had worked at the same store as me at the same time, immediately pointed out that Tony Hale looked/acted a lot like the guy who used to go whack it in the employee restroom. Skinny, glasses, bad posture, prematurely balding, pants up to his arm pits. Always had bad BO, too.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 16:13

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Who doesn’t take a shower after a hair cut?

Well we know one person who doesn’t...

MrDakka > smobgirl 06/12/2019 at 16:28

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I always thought people who have long hair do not have these sorts of issues when they get haircuts.

smobgirl > MrDakka 06/12/2019 at 16:51

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They manage to cut off pieces of all lengths on us.

You’re right though, longer hair cuts are  less awful than when I had a chin length cut that needed the back of my neck shaved and lots of tiny fringey pieces cut off the front edges. 

Svend > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 17:28

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I know right! There is literally toilet paper right there next to you if you really need to do it. 

Svend > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/12/2019 at 17:35

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We had one quite young colleague smear his faeces on one of the toilet area walls, he also had loads of graffiti posted about him in the same toilet area saying someone was going to beat him up, kill him, etc... It turns out it was him writi ng it to get attention, when he was caught in the act one day.